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Setting Limits with Children

Elisha Lambert • April 18, 2023

How do I set limits?

When it comes to raising children, setting limits is of great importance. Do not underestimate providing structure and consistency on a daily basis. Structure can be implemented by setting appropriate boundaries with kids and having consequences ready when they push past those boundaries. Because most will push back.


Consistency can be challenging for some adults. The key is to not give in to difficult behaviors. If you find yourself doing this often, you may benefit from talking to someone about how to improve in this area in order to help your child.


If your child lives in different homes at different times, it is best for all of their caregivers to set limits using the same boundaries and consequences at all houses. Ideally, all of your child’s caregivers would respond the same way when it comes to teaching your child what is acceptable behavior and what is not.


Setting limits with children is necessary to teach them acceptable behaviors. If I am working with a child in the play therapy room, I use the ACT model of setting limits. A stands for Acknowledge the child’s feeling. C stands for Communicate the limit, and T stands for Target the alternatives. If I had a child trying to hit me, I would think ACT and say something like ‘I can tell you are angry (acknowledge the feeling) but I am not for hitting (communicate the limit). You can hit the bag or the pillow (target the alternative).’ Our goal isn’t to stop the behavior, instead we want to allow it (if it’s not harmful to self, others or property) in an appropriate way.

April 11, 2025
As a parent, choosing what your child watches can feel like navigating a maze of flashing lights and loud trailers. One moment, a movie seems playful and innocent. The next, you're scrambling for the remote as something unexpectedly mature flashes across the screen. That’s where movie ratings come in. Designed as a guideline, these age-based classifications can be a helpful tool in your parenting toolkit—but they’re not the whole story. Let’s dive into what these ratings really mean, how they can be applied in real life, and why you, not the rating system, are the best judge of what’s right for your child. What Do Movie Ratings Mean? Most countries have some sort of film classification board. In the U.S., it’s the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America). Here’s a quick breakdown: G (General Audiences) : Suitable for all ages. No content that would offend parents. PG (Parental Guidance Suggested) : Some material may not be suitable for young children. PG-13 : Parents strongly cautioned. May include violence, language, or suggestive material. R (Restricted) : Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. Contains adult material. NC-17 : Strictly for adults. No one under 17 admitted. These ratings can offer a baseline, but they’re far from perfect. A PG movie from 1995 might feel more risqué than a modern PG-13 one, and what one family finds acceptable, another might not. Using Ratings as a Starting Point, Not the Rulebook Ratings are a helpful filter, but they don’t tell the whole story. A few tips for using them wisely: 1. Context Is Everything A PG-13 film might have violence—but is it cartoonish or realistic? A PG film might have “mild language”—but what words are we talking about? Read reviews or watch the movie yourself first. Resources like Common Sense Media give parent-focused breakdowns. 2. Every Child Is Different Some 8-year-olds are more sensitive to scary scenes than others. Some teens are unfazed by fantasy violence but uncomfortable with romantic content. Tune into your child’s emotional maturity, personality, and curiosity. 3. Use It As a Conversation Starter If your child wants to watch something above their age bracket, talk about why they’re interested. Watch it together if you choose to allow it—and be ready to hit pause and discuss. These can be golden moments for teaching critical thinking and empathy. 4. Build a Family Rating System Consider making your own “family-approved” list. If your values emphasize kindness, respect, and resilience, prioritize media that reflects those themes—even if it doesn’t carry a G rating. Let your kids be part of the conversation. Balancing Protection and Preparation Our job as parents isn’t just to shield our children from the world—it’s also to help them grow into thoughtful, confident individuals. Media plays a powerful role in that development. Movies can entertain, yes—but they can also teach empathy, expand imagination, and open the door to deeper discussions. By being intentional with what we allow into our homes and minds, we’re teaching our kids to be intentional too. Final Thoughts  Movie ratings are a great tool—but they're just that: a tool. Not a rulebook, not a substitute for parental judgment, and definitely not one-size-fits-all. The best guide? Your relationship with your child and the conversations you build together. So the next time you're browsing for family movie night, go beyond the rating. Think about the message, the impact, and the opportunity for connection. Because that’s where the real magic is.
April 4, 2025
The Benefits of Counseling for Kids: Helping Young Minds Thrive Childhood is a time of rapid growth—physically, emotionally, and mentally. But just like adults, kids can face challenges that feel overwhelming. Whether it’s anxiety, big life changes, struggles at school, or difficulty managing emotions, counseling can be a powerful tool to help children navigate their world with confidence and support. 🌟 Why Might a Child Need Counseling? Children may not always have the words to express what they’re going through, but their behavior often tells the story. Counseling can help with: Anxiety, worry, or fears Emotional outbursts or anger Grief or loss Divorce or family transitions School or social struggles Low self-esteem or confidence Trauma or difficult life events 💬 How Does Counseling Help? Counseling gives kids a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore their thoughts and feelings. Through play therapy, art, talking, or mindfulness, they learn how to: ✅ Understand and express emotions ✅ Build coping and problem-solving skills ✅ Improve communication and relationships ✅ Strengthen self-esteem and resilience ✅ Feel heard, supported, and empowered 👨‍👩‍👧 Support for the Whole Family Counseling isn’t just for the child—it can also support the entire family. Parents can gain insight into their child’s needs, learn new strategies for connection and discipline, and feel less alone in the process. 🛑 It’s Not a Sign of Weakness—It’s a Step Toward Strength Choosing counseling isn’t a sign that something is “wrong.” It’s a sign of love, awareness, and a commitment to helping your child thrive emotionally and mentally. Everyone—kids included—deserves a space to be seen, heard, and understood. If you're considering counseling for your child, you're not alone—and you're making a beautiful, powerful choice. 💛 #ChildTherapy #CounselingForKids #MentalHealthMatters #ParentingSupport #KidsDeserveSupport
November 18, 2024
The Power of True Connection: Embracing All Emotions
October 19, 2024
Causes, Consequences, and What We Can Do About It
September 29, 2024
In recent years, therapy has evolved significantly, expanding beyond traditional face-to-face sessions to include telehealth services. With this shift, individuals seeking mental health support have more options than ever, making it easier to find a method that fits their needs and lifestyles. But how do you decide which is best for you? Let’s explore the benefits and challenges of both in-person counseling and telehealth to help you make an informed decision. The Rise of Telehealth: Convenience Meets Accessibility 1. Convenience and Flexibility Telehealth, which includes phone or video counseling sessions, offers unparalleled flexibility. There’s no need to commute to a therapist’s office, making it a convenient option for those with busy schedules or mobility limitations. Whether you're at home, in the office, or traveling, you can connect with your therapist from almost anywhere, as long as you have an internet connection. For parents, caregivers, or professionals who juggle multiple responsibilities, telehealth can be a lifesaver. 2. Accessibility for Remote Areas In-person counseling may not be easily accessible for those living in rural or remote areas. Telehealth breaks down geographic barriers, allowing people to connect with qualified mental health professionals without the need to travel long distances. This is especially beneficial for individuals in underserved communities where there may be fewer mental health professionals. 3. Comfort and Privacy For some, the idea of being in a therapy office may feel intimidating or uncomfortable. Telehealth allows individuals to receive support in the privacy of their own homes, fostering a sense of safety and control. It can also feel less formal, helping clients open up more easily during sessions. However, while telehealth offers many benefits, it isn’t without its challenges. The Benefits of In-Person Counseling: Face-to-Face Connection 1. Nonverbal Cues and Body Language One of the key advantages of in-person counseling is the ability for both the therapist and client to pick up on nonverbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions, and eye contact. These subtle elements play an important role in communication and can deepen the therapeutic relationship. In a video session, these cues can be harder to interpret, especially if the connection is poor or if the therapist only sees the client from the shoulders up. 2. Focus and Presence In-person therapy often fosters a more focused and engaged environment. Without the distractions of technology, clients and therapists can feel more present and connected. For some individuals, the act of physically going to a therapist's office sets a distinct boundary between their everyday life and the therapeutic space, which can promote deeper reflection and work. 3. More Tailored Therapeutic Approaches Some therapeutic techniques, such as play therapy, art therapy, or certain forms of body-based trauma therapies, are difficult to replicate over telehealth. In-person counseling allows for a wider range of interventions, including those that involve movement, touch (in appropriate forms of therapy), and creative tools. For clients who benefit from these specific approaches, face-to-face counseling may be more effective. Challenges of Both Modalities 1. Telehealth Challenges Telehealth relies heavily on technology, which means that a poor internet connection, technical glitches, or unfamiliarity with video platforms can disrupt sessions. For some, the absence of physical presence makes it harder to establish a strong emotional connection with their therapist. Additionally, for individuals in living situations where privacy is a concern, finding a quiet, uninterrupted space for a telehealth session may be challenging. 2. In-Person Challenges On the other hand, in-person therapy comes with its own set of hurdles. The need to travel to a therapist’s office can be a barrier for people with busy schedules, mobility issues, or those who live in areas where mental health services are sparse. Some individuals may also feel anxious or self-conscious about being seen going to therapy, which could deter them from seeking help. What’s the Best Option for You? The decision between in-person counseling and telehealth ultimately depends on your personal preferences, lifestyle, and therapeutic needs. Telehealth may be right for you if: You have a busy schedule and need flexibility. You live in a remote or underserved area. You feel more comfortable engaging in therapy from your home. You need quick access to support, without the logistics of commuting. In-person therapy may be better if: You value face-to-face interaction and nonverbal communication. You prefer a focused, technology-free environment. You are working with a therapist who uses techniques that require physical presence, such as art or somatic therapies. Conclusion: There’s No One-Size-Fits-All  Both in-person counseling and telehealth have their unique strengths, and what works best for you will depend on your individual situation. For some, a hybrid approach that combines the two might even be the perfect balance. The most important thing is to find a therapeutic environment where you feel supported, comfortable, and empowered to work on your mental health. Ultimately, the right choice is the one that aligns with your needs, goals, and preferences. Whether you choose to meet with your therapist in person or online, taking the step to prioritize your mental well-being is what truly matters.
July 29, 2024
Aggressive play often conjures images of roughhousing, loud voices, and perhaps a few scrapes and bruises. While it might seem counterintuitive to encourage such behavior, aggressive play is a natural and crucial part of childhood development. It helps children learn valuable skills and navigate social boundaries. In this blog, we will explore why aggressive play is important for children and how it contributes to their overall growth. What is Aggressive Play? Aggressive play includes activities where children engage in physical and sometimes competitive interactions. This can range from wrestling and chasing to mock fighting and playful teasing. It is important to distinguish aggressive play from actual aggression, which involves intent to harm. In aggressive play, the actions are generally mutual, consensual, and conducted in a safe environment. The Benefits of Aggressive Play 1. Physical Development Aggressive play is an excellent way for children to develop their physical abilities. Running, jumping, wrestling, and other vigorous activities help improve motor skills, strength, coordination, and overall physical fitness. These activities also encourage cardiovascular health and help in maintaining a healthy weight. 2. Emotional Regulation Through aggressive play, children learn to regulate their emotions. They experience a range of feelings, such as excitement, frustration, and even anger, in a controlled environment. This helps them understand and manage their emotions better, leading to improved emotional intelligence and resilience. 3. Social Skills Aggressive play often involves negotiation, rule-setting, and conflict resolution. Children learn to communicate their boundaries, listen to others, and take turns. These interactions foster social skills such as empathy, cooperation, and assertiveness. They also learn to distinguish between playful aggression and real hostility. 4. Risk-Taking and Resilience Engaging in aggressive play allows children to take risks in a relatively safe environment. They learn to assess their limits and understand the consequences of their actions. This experience builds resilience and confidence, preparing them to face challenges in other aspects of life. 5. Creativity and Imagination Many forms of aggressive play, such as pretend fighting or role-playing games, stimulate creativity and imagination. Children create scenarios, develop characters, and navigate complex narratives, enhancing their cognitive flexibility and problem-solving skills. Guidelines for Safe and Positive Aggressive Play While aggressive play has numerous benefits, it is essential to ensure it is conducted safely and positively. Here are some guidelines to follow: Supervision : Always supervise aggressive play to ensure it remains safe and consensual. Intervene if play becomes too rough or if any child appears uncomfortable. Set Boundaries : Establish clear rules and boundaries. Make sure children understand what is acceptable and what is not. Teach Respect : Emphasize the importance of respecting others' limits and feelings. Encourage children to stop immediately if someone asks them to. Promote Communication : Foster open communication among children. Encourage them to express their feelings and resolve conflicts verbally. Model Behavior: Demonstrate positive behaviors and attitudes during play. Children often imitate adults, so be a good role model. Aggressive play is a vital component of childhood development. It offers a plethora of benefits, from physical fitness and emotional regulation to social skills and creativity. By allowing children to engage in aggressive play in a safe and structured manner, we can help them grow into well-rounded, confident, and resilient individuals. So, the next time you see children roughhousing, remember that they are not just playing—they are learning and growing.
July 11, 2024
Understanding the Differences and Their Impact on Growth
June 17, 2024
Human personality has long fascinated scholars, thinkers, and everyday individuals alike. One of the oldest theories that attempts to categorize human behavior is the concept of the four temperaments. Rooted in ancient Greek medicine and philosophy, this theory suggests that people can be grouped into four fundamental personality types: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic, and Phlegmatic. Each temperament represents a unique blend of characteristics, strengths, and challenges. Let's explore these four temperaments in detail. 1. The Sanguine Temperament: The Life of the Party Key Traits : Sociable Enthusiastic Talkative Outgoing Optimistic Strengths : Sanguines are often the social butterflies of any group. They have an infectious energy and a natural ability to make others feel comfortable. Their enthusiasm and positive outlook on life can be incredibly motivating to those around them. Sanguines are also great communicators, capable of captivating audiences with their storytelling and wit. Challenges : However, the sanguine temperament can also come with its drawbacks. Their tendency to seek novelty and excitement can make them easily bored and distracted. They may struggle with consistency and follow-through, often leaving projects unfinished. Additionally, their desire for social approval can sometimes lead to superficial relationships. 2. The Choleric Temperament: The Driven Leader Key Traits: Ambitious Energetic Confident Independent Goal-oriented Strengths : Cholerics are natural leaders. Their strong will and determination allow them to take charge and achieve their goals. They are decisive and practical, often excelling in environments where quick, strategic thinking is required. Cholerics are also highly motivated and can inspire others with their drive and confidence. Challenges : On the flip side, cholerics can sometimes be perceived as domineering or impatient. Their intense focus on goals can make them less sensitive to the feelings and needs of others. They may struggle with delegating tasks, preferring to control every aspect of a project themselves. Balancing their assertiveness with empathy can be a key area for personal growth. 3. The Melancholic Temperament: The Thoughtful Analyst Key Traits : Analytical Detail-oriented Deep-thinking Sensitive Perfectionistic Strengths : Melancholics are often the thinkers and planners of the world. Their analytical nature allows them to approach problems with a keen eye for detail and a methodical mindset. They are often deeply empathetic and have a rich inner life, which makes them great listeners and thoughtful friends. Their dedication to quality and precision can lead to exceptional work. Challenges : The melancholic temperament can sometimes lead to overthinking and excessive self-criticism. Their high standards may result in perfectionism, causing them to become easily discouraged by perceived failures. Melancholics can also be prone to moodiness and may need to work on developing resilience in the face of challenges. 4. The Phlegmatic Temperament: The Peaceful Mediator Key Traits : Calm Reliable Patient Steady Kind Strengths : Phlegmatics are the steady rocks in a stormy sea. Their calm and patient nature makes them excellent mediators and dependable team members. They are typically very kind and empathetic, often putting others' needs before their own. Their consistent and reliable approach to life can bring a sense of stability and peace to those around them. Challenges: However, the phlegmatic temperament can also have its downsides. Their desire for harmony can sometimes lead to avoidance of conflict, even when it's necessary to address issues. They may also struggle with assertiveness, preferring to go with the flow rather than take initiative. Encouraging phlegmatics to step out of their comfort zone can help them achieve greater personal and professional growth.  Understanding the four temperaments offers valuable insights into human behavior and interpersonal dynamics. While each temperament has its unique strengths and challenges, it's important to remember that no one fits perfectly into a single category. Most people exhibit a blend of these temperaments, with one often being more dominant. By recognizing and appreciating these differences, we can improve our communication, foster stronger relationships, and work more effectively with others. Whether you're a sanguine life of the party, a choleric leader, a melancholic analyst, or a phlegmatic peacemaker, embracing your natural temperament can lead to greater self-awareness and personal fulfillment.
June 3, 2024
In the world of child development, play isn’t just a way for kids to pass the time—it's a critical part of their emotional and psychological growth. One therapeutic approach that harnesses this natural inclination is play therapy. This specialized form of therapy uses play as a means for children to express their feelings, process experiences, and develop essential coping skills. What is Play Therapy? Play therapy is a psychotherapeutic approach primarily used to help children aged 3 to 12. It operates on the principle that play is the language of children. Through play, children can communicate their thoughts and feelings in a way that is natural and comfortable for them. Play therapy can address a variety of issues, including trauma, anxiety, depression, behavioral problems, and family conflicts. How Does Play Therapy Work? In a typical play therapy session, a therapist provides a child with a variety of toys and creative materials. These might include dolls, action figures, art supplies, sand trays, and other items that encourage imaginative play. The therapist observes how the child interacts with these items, looking for themes or patterns that reveal underlying issues. There are two main types of play therapy: Non-Directive Play Therapy: In this approach, the therapist allows the child to lead the play. The child is free to explore and express themselves without specific instructions or directions. The therapist takes a backseat, providing a safe and supportive environment while gently guiding the child as needed. Directive Play Therapy: Here, the therapist takes a more active role, introducing specific activities or themes to address particular problems. This approach can be useful for children who may need more guidance in their therapeutic journey. Benefits of Play Therapy 1. Emotional Expression: Children often struggle to articulate their emotions verbally. Play therapy offers them a non-verbal outlet to express feelings like anger, sadness, fear, and confusion. 2. Trauma Processing: For children who have experienced trauma, play therapy provides a safe space to process their experiences. Through play, they can re-enact scenarios and work through their trauma in a controlled environment. 3. Behavioral Improvement: Play therapy can help identify the root causes of behavioral issues. By understanding what’s behind a child’s actions, therapists and parents can develop more effective strategies to address these behaviors. 4. Social Skills Development: Many play therapy activities are designed to improve social interactions. Children learn to share, take turns, and understand the perspectives of others, which can enhance their relationships both at home and in school. 5. Building Coping Mechanisms: Through guided play, children can develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress and anxiety. They learn problem-solving skills and ways to manage their emotions more effectively. Play Therapy in Action Imagine a 7-year-old named Mia who has been acting out at school and withdrawing from her friends after her parents' divorce. In her play therapy sessions, she gravitates towards playing with a dollhouse, often creating scenarios where the family members argue and then make up. Through these sessions, Mia is able to express her fears and confusion about her parents’ separation. The therapist uses these play scenarios to help Mia understand and process her emotions, gradually guiding her towards a healthier adjustment to the new family dynamics. -------------------- Play therapy is a powerful tool that taps into the natural ways children explore and make sense of their world. It provides them with a safe space to express their feelings, process difficult experiences, and develop the skills they need to navigate life’s challenges. As more parents, educators, and mental health professionals recognize its value, play therapy continues to offer hope and healing to countless children around the globe.  Whether you're a parent seeking support for your child, a teacher interested in understanding more about child behavior, or a mental health professional looking to expand your therapeutic techniques, play therapy is a field worth exploring. It reminds us that through play, children can find their voice, heal their wounds, and ultimately, flourish.
April 23, 2024
In a fast-paced world where stress is almost a default setting, it's easy to overlook the profound impact of what we eat on our mental health. While we often associate diet with physical health and weight management, emerging research shines a spotlight on the intricate relationship between our food choices and our mood. Indeed, what we put on our plates can significantly influence how we feel, think, and behave. The Gut-Brain Axis: A Complex Connection The gut-brain axis serves as a bidirectional communication highway between the gastrointestinal tract and the brain. This intricate network involves various signaling pathways, including hormonal, immune, and neural pathways. Interestingly, the gut is home to trillions of microorganisms collectively known as the gut microbiota, which play a pivotal role in this communication system. Nutrients for Neurotransmitters Certain nutrients act as precursors for neurotransmitters, the chemical messengers that regulate mood and behavior. For instance, tryptophan, an amino acid found in protein-rich foods like turkey and nuts, serves as a building block for serotonin, often referred to as the "feel-good" neurotransmitter. Likewise, omega-3 fatty acids, abundant in fatty fish like salmon and flaxseeds, are essential for optimal brain function and mood regulation. The Inflammation Connection Chronic inflammation, often fueled by a diet high in processed foods, sugar, and unhealthy fats, has been implicated in various mental health disorders, including depression and anxiety. Inflammation not only disrupts the delicate balance of neurotransmitters but also impairs the functioning of brain regions involved in mood regulation. Conversely, anti-inflammatory foods such as fruits, vegetables, and whole grains may exert protective effects against mood disorders. Blood Sugar Rollercoaster The ebb and flow of blood sugar levels can profoundly impact mood and energy levels. Consuming high-glycemic index foods, such as sugary snacks and refined carbohydrates, leads to rapid spikes and subsequent crashes in blood sugar levels, resulting in mood swings, irritability, and fatigue. On the other hand, opting for complex carbohydrates with a lower glycemic index, such as whole grains and legumes, promotes more stable blood sugar levels and sustained energy throughout the day. The Role of Gut Microbiota Mounting evidence suggests that the composition and diversity of the gut microbiota play a crucial role in mental health. Certain gut bacteria produce neurotransmitters, modulate inflammation, and influence stress responses, thereby exerting profound effects on mood and behavior. Probiotic-rich foods like yogurt, kefir, and sauerkraut nourish beneficial gut bacteria and may contribute to improved mental well-being. Practical Tips for a Mood-Boosting Diet Prioritize Whole Foods : Emphasize nutrient-dense whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and healthy fats. Include Omega-3s : Incorporate sources of omega-3 fatty acids, such as fatty fish, flaxseeds, chia seeds, and walnuts, into your diet. Mindful Eating : Practice mindful eating by savoring each bite, paying attention to hunger and fullness cues, and fostering a positive relationship with food. Limit Processed Foods : Minimize consumption of processed foods high in added sugars, unhealthy fats, and artificial ingredients. Stay Hydrated : Drink plenty of water throughout the day to support optimal brain function and mood regulation. Moderate Caffeine and Alcohol : Limit intake of caffeine and alcohol, as excessive consumption can disrupt sleep and exacerbate mood fluctuations. Nourish Your Body, Nourish Your Mind In essence, the food we eat serves as fuel for both our bodies and our minds. By making informed dietary choices that prioritize nutrient-rich foods and support gut health, we can harness the power of food to enhance our mood, cognitive function, and overall well-being. Remember, small changes in your diet can yield significant improvements in how you feel and experience the world around you. So, why not start nourishing your body and mind today? Your future self will thank you for it.
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